Keeping Watch
by Ondjage
Summary: It's obvious that sneaky assassin is up to no good. Of that much, Alistair is sure. Leliana/FemPC from Alistair's POV. Oneshot.


Alistair found himself glaring at the back of Zevran's head rather angrily. Why? Well, the former Templar was not exactly sure himself. He was certain, however, that the fiendish assassin was undoubtedly up to no good! So naturally Alistair took it upon himself to watch his every move, lest he try to 'finish the job' and execute their leading Grey Warden while she wasn't looking.

_He does seem to be up to something now… _The senior Warden suddenly found himself rising from the not-so-comfortable log he had been perched on and ambling slowly toward the elven assassin. As if sensing his approach, Zevran turned gently on his heel and addressed Alistair with those mischievous glinting eyes of his. An immediate scowl claimed Alistair's face, but he did his best to attempt to mask it. He had obviously failed too, for a decidedly amused smirk crawled onto Zevran's face.

"Good evening my friend," the Antivan said, nodding his head slightly. Alistair made no effort to return the greeting, and instead offered a grunt.

"What are you doing sneaking about?"

The elf feigned a hurt look, hands reaching up toward his chest and clutching at the area where Alistair could only assume his heart must have been.

_If he even has a heart._

"You wound me! Why such suspicion? Surely, by now, I have earned your trust and confidence, yes?"

"Hardly," Alistair denounced, with an eye roll for good measure. "Just because you've charmed Lyna doesn't mean you've… uh… charmed me."

"_Ah_! How silly of me to think I could not fool the wise and noble Alistair. Perhaps I should lay on my _charms_ a little thicker then, no?"

Alistair's face flushed in embarrassment. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"J-Just answer the question!" he stammered in exasperation. Zevran smiled rather smugly before turning his attention back to where it had previously been before the interruption.

"The bard and our beloved Grey Warden went off into the woods alone," he said. His legs started to move and Alistair could only look on in confusion before rushing after him.

"_Wait! _What do you mean? Leliana and Lyna?"

"_Si._"

"So why are _you _so interested?" Alistair asked, shooting Zevran an accusatory glare. His wrinkled brow of confusion though ended up eliciting a small but velvety chuckle from the assassin. "What's so funny?" Alistair huffed, slightly annoyed. Everyone was always keeping some deeper joke from him.

"I suppose Morrigan was right about you being the naive Chantry boy," he said with a wistful sigh.

"W-what? Maker, would you just tell me already!?"

Zevran paused briefly in his steps, causing Alistair to follow suit. The elf turned and looked directly into the Templar's eyes, all seriousness now.

"You're aware of the relationship those two have, are you not?"

At that Alistair's face fell a little. He was _very _aware, and he had tried his hardest to ignore it when those two were together; shooting each other doe-eyed glances and whispering sweet nothings into one another's ear. Alistair too had feelings for their elven Grey Warden… feelings Lyna did not seem to reciprocate. Or rather, she had made her choice. It had been a crushing blow to Alistair, and the wounds were still as fresh as ever, as though they had only been received yesterday. Squaring his jaw the former Templar gave a curt nod. Zevran, surprisingly enough, made no snide remarks or jests at Alistair's grim silence. He must have been aware of what had happened.

"Well, I'm following them. Keeping watch, so to speak."

_Keeping watch… or watching them? _Alistair arched an eyebrow.

"Keeping watch?" he repeated aloud, all scepticism. Zevran nodded with that sly smile of his.

"Yes. They're just past those trees actually."

Alistair followed Zevran's finger toward the line of trees resting ahead. It wasn't too far from camp, but it was well away from the light of the campfire. From where he was standing Alistair could not make out any figures in the darkness. Zevran's mischievous smile however had him assuming they were likely there. Elves must have better night vision than humans.

"You're welcome to join me," Zevran added. Alistair narrowed his eyes perceptively.

_I'll probably regret this… but if Leliana and Lyna are alone together they might have their guards down… and with Zevran around…_

That was all the prodding Alistair needed.

"Right. Lead the way, I guess," he said lamely. Zevran nodded, and with that devious little smirk of his, set off for the trees. Alistair quickly followed suit, hot on his heels but not wanting to walk alongside the assassin. He'd keep well away from that sneaky, and perverted, Antivan.

Upon nearing the line of oaks Zevran had ducked into a crouch, and motioned for Alistair to keep quiet with a finger to his lips. Rolling his eyes, Alistair again copied the elf's movements. He lowered his body more to the ground, careful not to make a sound. That was hard though considering the heavy Dragonbone plate mail he was clad in. It was a wonder they hadn't _already _heard him stumbling clumsily in the brush.

Zevran slowed to a stop and pressed his body up against the base of a tree, peeking his head out. He dropped into a crouch, allowing Alistair to tower above him and observe. The sight they were seeing hardly looked like anything out of the ordinary. Alistair could faintly make out Leliana's silhouette nearing Lyna's smaller one. He could hear voices and whispers, but could discern nothing that was being said.

Seconds later however the two were locked in an embrace. Leliana's hand reached up and cupped Lyna's cheek, pulling her closer and closer until their lips met. Alistair suddenly felt his cheeks growing very _warm. _He couldn't tell what expression Zevran was sporting, but he deduced it must have been something very perverted. It was, after all, that bastard's idea that they spy on the two.

"Maker's breath," Alistair gasped softly.

"_Si. _The Maker indeed favours us my friend. Those two irresistible sex goddesses kissing…"

Alistair's blush deepened. He was sure his cheeks were burning crimson at this point.

"W-what?" he stammered, his voice a near inaudible squeak. "T-that isn't what I-"

"I wonder if they'll make love," Zevran purred huskily, gazing luridly at the pair.

"W-w-wha-…" Alistair's brain was racking. How did two women even… _do that? _Sudden images flitted across the forefront of his mind, causing him to let out an alarmed gasp. He shook his head vehemently.

"M-Maybe we should… leave?" Alistair began, but the assassin had either failed to hear him or was deliberately ignoring him. It was likely the latter. Leliana and Lyna's kisses were suddenly beginning to look a little more passionate now. Their hands were roaming about one another's bodies even faster than before, almost viciously. The next thing Alistair knew, armour was suddenly being stripped away and carelessly discarded. Zevran chuckled softly, and Alistair's face only succeeded in reddening even more.

"Zevran," he hissed, nudging the elf slightly with his boot.

"Calm down my friend. They're going to hear us." The Antivan elf glanced back at the fidgeting Templar with a look of slight annoyance. When he took notice of the red around his cheeks however he couldn't help but smirk slightly.

There was a sudden moan, which caused both of them to snap their heads up.

_What in the-…_

The bard appeared to be straddling the elvish Grey Warden now… nearly naked! Leliana's deft fingers were tracing their way along Lyna's neck and jaw-line. The elf seemed to be loving every minute of it as well. Alistair inhaled sharply.

_I need to take a cold bath now._

The senior Grey Warden glanced down at Zevran, who had fallen silent. Even though he could only see the back of his head, he knew the sneaky bastard must have been eyeing them with lust, a calculating smirk without a doubt claiming his face. With that in mind, Alistair nudged him again with his boot.

"This is wrong… watching them like this," he muttered.

The elf grunted.

"It's not wrong if they don't know we're here."

"W-wha… That makes it even more wrong!" he exclaimed, keeping his tone down as much as possible. Zevran was certainly exasperating him though. If Lyna found out she would likely skin both of them alive… or worse!

"What are you two fools doing?"

Alistair let out a startled yelp and jumped, which in turn caused Zevran to fall forward into the bushes. Everything after that seemed to happen in slow motion, or at least, that's how it seemed to Alistair. Lyna and Leliana broke away from each other abruptly, searching for their weapons in confusion. Alistair had shrank into the tiniest form imaginable, trying his hardest to duck away into the shadows and slip away unnoticed. It was too late by then of course. The voice that had startled him mere moments ago belonged to Morrigan, and she was now behind him. He could practically_ feel _her golden eyes glaring suspicious daggers into his back.

So when he rounded fully to face the witch of the wilds he was hardly surprised to see her standing there with her arms folded and a particularly cross expression on her face.

"We… were… just uh…"

_Oh yeah… I almost forgot about Zevran._

He turned away briefly from Morrigan to glance behind his shoulder. He felt his heart stop at the sight of a still half naked Lyna. If looks could kill Alistair would have fallen dead on the spot. Zevran was standing next to the fuming Dalish elf, still smiling smugly despite the red hand print plastered on the side of his tattooed face. Leliana was also there, looking more flustered than angry. As merciful as Leliana might have been however, Alistair was not going to be spared from Lyna's wrath.

"Did you enjoy the show?" the elf snapped sharply, sheathing her blade. Alistair gulped nervously. Morrigan's eyes darted about in what looked like annoyed confusion. The corners of her lips curled upwards slightly however as it suddenly dawned upon her just what had been going on. From the flushed cheeks and the state of their apparel, one could only assume the two had been getting hot and heavy with one another. She raised an eyebrow at Alistair.

"I would have expected this from Zevran, but not from you," the witch said.

Alistair felt his ears and neck growing hot. Hopefully it was too dark for any of them to see just how much he was blushing. Morrigan would only mock him more.

"L-…look, it's not what y-you think Lyna!" Alistair started, raising his hands up in defence.

"_Oh?_" The way her mouth formed around the word made him wince. Damn Zevran! This was all of his fault.

"Zevran said you two were alone! He… uh… suggested we make sure you were a-alright. That's all!"

"Is that so?" Lyna's hands were now resting on those hips of hers. Her eyebrows were furrowed so much that it looked as though her face might just break in two.

"Y-yes!" Alistair squeaked out, tugging awkwardly at his chest plate. It suddenly felt thousands of degrees hotter out.

Beside the elf, Leliana sighed. She was smiling wryly, her arms also crossed against her chest. She looked more annoyed at the interruption however, rather than angry about being spied upon.

"It's alright Lyna," the bard said. "They meant no harm."

Lyna gave Leliana one of her 'you can't be serious' looks and the two held each other's gaze for what seemed like an eternity. Finally Lyna's shoulders relaxed and she let out a sigh. Her fingers came up to pinch the bridge of her nose before she reopened her eyes and shot Alistair one final glare. Much to Alistair's relief, her expression quickly softened, and she too started to smirk. Whatever hold Leliana possessed over their beloved Grey Warden Alistair was deeply grateful for… and a little resentful as well. Under any other circumstance Alistair might have faced castration.

He felt like clutching his private parts at that thought, but opted not to. He needed to salvage whatever dignity he had left at this point.

"So… we're good then?" Alistair said finally, glancing around at the group. Leliana nodded. Morrigan made an obvious snort of disapproval from behind him, but he ignored it.

Zevran chuckled.

"Well, that was certainly exciting," he mused aloud, stroking his chin thoughtfully. Lyna quickly snapped her head around to glare at the assassin.

"I've only forgiven Alistair. _You_ on the other hand are an entirely different story. I know Alistair doesn't have the balls to do something like this without some persuasion."

"_Hey!_ I'm standing right here you know!" The former Templar pouted, rising another sadistic sort of grin from Morrigan. Couldn't she ever just be normal?

"'Tis a wonder why your fellow Grey Warden doesn't simply do away with you right now."

Alistair shot the witch a glare but otherwise remained silent. She was baiting him, as she always did. The best way to anger her was to simply ignore her, as he had come to learn. Or make a comment on how strikingly similar she and her mother looked.

Disgruntled, the former Templar stalked off, ignoring Morrigan's snickering. Damn that Zevran! This was all his fault. Never trust a bloody assassin, especially a womanizing one.

_---_

_A/N: This oneshot is based off a lovely, and I mean lovely, drawing my sister did for me. It was of my PC Dalish elf kissing Leliana most passionately. I love it! It also had Alistair and Zevran peeping in the background. Of course, Alistair being the cute little virgin that he is, is very red in the face. Zevran is just enjoying the show. Anyways, my sister also has a fanfiction account on here I suggest you people check out. She's a die hard Dragon Age fanatic too. Her penname is SilverEyes-chan_


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